I don't even know what to say. This is all just a huge misunderstanding.
For some reason these past few weeks have revealed to me an unknown side of my psyche. This hidden persona surfaces every night usually after my long and protracted search for contentment and validity--be it in my schoolwork, relationships, friends or personal growth--ends in complete and utter failure. If life is really this tapestry of sublime events supposedly culminating into my own personal Calvinistic plan, then so far I've only managed to accrue meaningless accidents and irreversible mess-ups. I need to work on being a better person.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
I have decided that I have neither the time nor energy to actively search for love. If I find it, I will have fallen into it by chance. This is so because no one should ever actively search for love or companionship. That things as delicate and precious as those, which can never be created in one fell swoop, is the reason for patience, "taking it slow" and my current state. Just wish I had realized this earlier.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The conversations I have with my myself always boil down to one thing:
Me: "Why aren't you...I mean, why are you the person you are?"
Myself: "What are you? Life? You can't say that to me. Only life can say that to me. And does."
Me: "And what do you say to that?"
Myself: "I don't know"
Me: "You don't know? Or 'I don't know'?"
Myself: "I guess...both"
Me: "Why aren't you...I mean, why are you the person you are?"
Myself: "What are you? Life? You can't say that to me. Only life can say that to me. And does."
Me: "And what do you say to that?"
Myself: "I don't know"
Me: "You don't know? Or 'I don't know'?"
Myself: "I guess...both"
Monday, April 5, 2010
Safe to say my college life--personally, academically, and all other things considered--is at a trough. Nowhere to go from here but up I suppose. Or maybe just simply, nowhere to go.
On another note, I just wanted to post these sweet pics of John Mayer since his tour is coming through Illinois this week. What he didn't know when he disabled the "ctrl+c" function on his site's gallery was that you could just take a screenshot. That is, if you're desperate enough.
(Click to enlarge)
Picture 1: 20,000 people in Chicago feeling safe. joyful. content.
Picture 2: John Mayer, Michael Franti, Michael Franti's dreads.
Picture 3: Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
Picture 4:
On another note, I just wanted to post these sweet pics of John Mayer since his tour is coming through Illinois this week. What he didn't know when he disabled the "ctrl+c" function on his site's gallery was that you could just take a screenshot. That is, if you're desperate enough.
(Click to enlarge)
Picture 1: 20,000 people in Chicago feeling safe. joyful. content.
Picture 2: John Mayer, Michael Franti, Michael Franti's dreads.
Picture 3: Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
Picture 4:
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